5 REASONS WHY ALIENS REFUSE TO VISIT EARTH

alien-instagramEver wonder why intelligent life from other planets has failed to pay us a visit yet? It’s simple—they’re terrified of us. Here are just five obvious reasons why we won’t be getting any surprise extra-terrestrial visits in the near future.

  1. 12,000,000 humans voted for Donald Trump in the 2016 Presidential primaries. Sure, he’s entertaining. But these people actually got up off the couch and marched over to a polling booth to vote for him. That’s scary as hell. Who knows what else these people could be up to?
  2. Honey Boo Boo is being considered for another Reality TV series. Aliens aren’t stupid, but they’re just as confused as we are about what human TV viewers consider reality . . . and Reality TV. One which clearly is not the other. But we call them the same anyway . . . I’m confused just writing about it.
  3. Bush Meat. Think about it. We eat everything that moves—including fuzzy little baby monkeys. Aliens know they could be next on the menu. There must be better places than Earth for a sleep over.
  4. Kim Jong-un’s haircut. Not only is it brutally unfashionable —but the dictator of North Korea has required by law that all other males in the country adopt the same style, refusal punishable by imprisonment. I’m not making that up.
  5. Our obsession with smart phones. It’s a computer, a tool—but we can’t seem to take our eyes off those tiny stupid screens. Eleven teens a day die from texting while driving. Last year: 1.6 million car crashes caused by cell phone use according to the National Safety Council. When the aliens do come, we won’t even notice. We’ll have our heads down, checking our Facebook status.

 

This post was published by Theo Cage. Check out his latest thriller novel, GHOST OF A GIRL on AMAZON.  “Holy cow! I picked it up and started reading, and now I don’t want to do anything else! Great story . . .” Amazon reader.

Review of Number Seventy Five by Ashley Fontainne

Seventy FiveThe Story: Three years after the demise of her seventeen year marriage, Mandy Russell decides to jump back into the choppy waters of the dating world. With very little options available in her small town of Bainsville, Tennessee, Mandy lets her best friend Shawna persuade her into joining and online dating site.

Feeling she has met someone she can really connect with, Mandy decides it’s time to meet face to face with her new suitor, unaware of his true plans for her. Dark, sinister plans that will test Mandy’s physical strength, mental fortitude and will to survive.

Will Mandy prevail or will she become number seventy-five?

The Review: Never lets go of you until the end. The New York Daily News claims that one-third of couples today met online and that over 75% of singles, at some point, have tried a web-based dating service. And we’ve all heard the amusing stories from our friends and paid witness to countless reality TV dating experiences.

What are the hallmarks of on-line dating? Very similar to blind-dating in general – anticipation, awkwardness, relief, sometimes dashed expectations – and every once in a while, a powerful life changing experience. This short story includes all of the above.

Ashley Fontainne, bless her wicked soul, adds something else to the mix. A serial killer. And she doesn’t fool around. Seventy Five is as taut as a war drum – as fast as a fleeing victim. If you have never read Fontainne before, this will be a perfect introduction to her no-holds-barred style.

FIVE STARS!